


Why do we make each other crazy?

by berrysck



Category: Killing Eve (TV 2018)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, F/F, One Shot, Smut, Villaneve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-26
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-11-05 22:48:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17927843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/berrysck/pseuds/berrysck
Summary: The new Eve bites her lips frequently and sometimes she bites so hard that she can feel the blood pouring out - which doesn’t make her nervous. In fact, the new Eve kinda likes the taste of it.





	Why do we make each other crazy?

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you @standraoh for supporting me as I wrote this.
> 
> \- English isn't my first language SO if there are any mistakes, just pretend they never happened.
> 
> \- The fic title comes from the song "curse", by Koda. Mayhaps you'd like to give it a listen while reading this fic.
> 
> If you like it, let me know! 
> 
> Lots of love,
> 
> berry.

* * *

 

 

It’s cold.

The air is cold and her bed is cold and her feet are cold. Eve can’t stop moving trying to find a way to get warm, but it’s all in vain. She’s wearing two socks in each foot, sweatpants, a sweater and she still has three blankets over her, but everything seems useless.

She’s tired, but she can’t sleep.

Firstly because - _damn_ \- is it snowing outside? It’s so fucking cold. But also because she’s anxious, her stomach won’t stop twisting and she really could use a hug right now.

It was unrealistic of her to think she would get used to sleeping alone after just six months, considering she had slept with Niko for ten years. Sometimes she thinks she might miss him, but then she realises she just misses his body. And with his body, she means its warmth, not the actual body. She misses having someone lying next to her, someone to put their arms around her but - to be perfectly honest - it could be anyone.

It scares her how she doesn’t miss Niko at all. At first she thought the pain would be unbearable and at some point she would finally come to her senses and call him and then leave a voicemail and then text him to let him know that she called because he always forgets to check the voicemail.

But then time passed and the pain never came. She also never came to her senses and after a while she started wondering if coming to her senses wasn’t actually doing exactly what she was doing: living her life without him.

Fuck, she could really use a hug right now.

She also could use a wall that allowed her to hit her own head without having to leave her bed.

Her stomach - which stopped twisting for a minute - started twisting again and she feels like she might vomit. She stares at the ceiling and she can’t see anything.

“Why is this room so dark?”, she asks, not really waiting for a response but somehow expecting it.

Because, _of course_ she’s been talking to herself.

It started some weeks after Niko left. Eve would have long night conversations and sometimes she could swear someone actually replied.

It was not the voice inside her head though. And it definitely wasn’t Niko.

The voice was arrogant and had a strong russian accent.

“I know it’s because it’s past midnight and the windows are closed but you get me. If there was an animal here, I wouldn’t be able to see it and it could attack me and I’d... you know, die.”

Eve then rolls her eyes.

“Oh, come on. You don’t mean that. You don’t want me to die. You want me to live so you can annoy me for the rest of my life. You may be a really good assassin, but if there’s one thing you do better than killing people, it’s annoying me. Actually I think you could be hiding here right now just to prank me. Under my bed. Inside my closet. You could be next to me-”

Eve stops, her chest suddenly aching.

“You _could_ be next to me-”.

Eve takes a breath.

“Why the hell won’t you come after me?”

Eve takes another breath, this one deeper.

“Why the hell won’t you let me know if you’re alive?”

Maybe she has lost her mind, after all.

“Please, don’t be dead.”

She closes her eyes. Her bed isn’t that cold anymore.

“Goodnight, Oksana.”

A second and then - “Ok, I’m _sorry._  Goodnight, Villanelle.”

* * *

 

Her alarm clock rings at 7AM and Eve throws it away.

It doesn’t stop ringing.

“Oh my God, why does it work in movies?”, she mumbles, her hair covering half of her face. She tries to open her eyes but she’s too tired and they feel so heavy, she might just go and fall asleep ag-

“Oh, FUCK, LEAVE ME ALONE!”, she screams. This time it’s her cell phone alarm clock ringing, a reminder that she should get up, brush her teeth, brush her hair, get changed, eat something and go to work feeling thankful for still having a job after disobeying her boss multiple times, almost getting herself killed and then actually stabbing someone.

She shakes her head. It’s too early for these thoughts, so she just go and do what she’s supposed to do. She eats bread with jam because she’s not in the mood for cooking anything and leaves her house, being welcomed by a chilling breeze.

She takes the subway and suddenly she feels like everyone is staring at her. She walks past two security guards and she can swear they actually commented something about her.

Do they know?

No, of course not. How could they possibly know?

How could anyone know?

She haven’t told anyone. Just as she hasn’t told anyone about Niko. Well, except for  _her._

To everyone else - including her coworkers - their marriage is fine, thank you for asking. Eve doesn’t want people to feel sorry for her. She doesn’t wanna be the person who lost everything, so she just lets people think he’s busy and she’s busier and that’s why they can’t show up at dinners and friends’ reunions.

Her head aches.

She enters the train and there’s a folder in the window.

“Killer”, it says. She narrows her eyes.

No, it says “Liever”. In fact, it’s actually “reliever” and the folder is a pain reliever advertising.

“I probably need one of these”, she thinks, the headache getting stronger.

This is something she also thought she would manage to get used to, but she can’t. Her constant migraines are also a reminder that she won’t be able to go through a single day without thinking about what she’s done.

Without thinking about _her_.

“Stop”, she whispers, bringing herself to think about anything else than _her_ during the entire journey.

It’s almost 9AM when she finally arrives.

Everything is normal, except for the fact they moved from the older office and she now has a tracker on her phone that completely prevents her from going anywhere without letting Carolyn know. That’s why she’s welcomed with “you’re late” from behind the door before even opening it.

“Good morning, Carolyn.”

Then Eve turns to her friends.

“Kenny, Elena”, she smiles.

“I explicitly told you I wouldn’t tolerate tardiness of any kind, no matter how good your excuse may be”, Carolyn says coldly.

“Yeah, I know. I’m sorry.”

“Apologies accepted. Now please, sit down. We have a new case.”

She hates it. She hates what her job has become. She also hates how Carolyn doesn’t trust her anymore and she hates how Kenny won’t say anything to oppose his mother and she hates how Elena still hasn’t lost her mind.

Everyone’s lost their mind. Why won’t Elena?

So she just sits there pretending to care when, in fact, she doesn’t. Of course she wants the world to be a safe place and of course she appreciates the fact Carolyn re-hired her a month after firing her, but it’s not the same. The cases are interesting, some of them would have gotten the old Eve thrilled, but the new Eve isn’t excited at all.

The new Eve is _weird_ , she thinks.

The new Eve gets bored at gruesome murders because they don’t have a style she’s learned to know as the palm of her hand. She can’t stand the smell of sausages, she doesn’t lock the windows of her house and she _hates_ knives, even though they also give her a strange fascination.

She also masturbates. A _lot_ more than she used to.

The new Eve is weird but it also strong and doesn’t get easily intimidated. If anything, she intimidates people. Maybe the people from the subway _do_ look at her, but only because she looks at them first with a cold glance that says both “no, I’m not pleased to meet you” and “yes, I did stab someone, get over it.”

The new Eve bites her lips frequently and sometimes she bites so hard that she can feel the blood pouring out - which doesn’t make her nervous. In fact, the new Eve kinda likes the taste of it.

“So, Eve? What do you think?”, Carolyn asks, taking her out of her trance.

She knows she can’t ask “what do I think of what?” because Carolyn is already in a bad mood and she doesn’t wanna make things worst, so she just stares to the wall - the same wall that was once filled with info about _her_ killings - and tries to jump to a fast conclusion.

“I…”, she starts. And then it hits her. It’s easy. It’s easier than she wanted it to be. “It’s a woman.”

“And why do you think so?”, Carolyn asks again.

Eve’s mind go back to a time that seem to have happened a million years ago where she said something about this male victim being a misogynist incapable of seeing a woman as a threat. This time, she makes it short: “the entire thing… the way she does it… it’s too smart. There’s no way a man would be able to do this”, and then she looks at Kenny, “no offense.”

“None taken”, he replies.

Elena laughs.

Carolyn shakes her head.

“Right”, she sighs. “We’re gonna need a little more evidence than just ‘men are dumb’ - which, for the record, is a statement that I’m not disagreeing with. No offense”, she looks at Kenny, who just rolls his eyes. “Do you think you can trace me a profile until tomorrow?”

Eve just nods.

“Good. I guess you’re dismissed then. Oh, I almost forgot, there’s this package that arrived for you today. It’s nice of Niko to surprise you at work. Sometimes I wish… Well, who cares about what I wish. Happy Valentine’s Day, I’m going home to have some wine and probably call Vlad. He's in town.”

Kenny shoots her a disgusted glance.

“You’re not invited, by the way. Stay somewhere else for the night. Goodbye, everyone.”

As soon as Carolyn leaves, Kenny starts saying something to Elena, but Eve can’t hear anymore.

It’s Valentine’s Day. She had no idea.

Carolyn said there’s a package for her. From Niko.

At Valentine’s Day.

Her heart races inside her chest.

She gets up too fast and then almost falls. She feels like she’s about to pass out.

“Eve, are you okay?”, Kenny asks, turning from Elena to face her.

“I-I… It’s fine. It’s okay, I just… I have to go”, she says, leaving the room.

She calls an Uber in order to get home sooner - and safer. She holds the package as if she was carrying a bomb - which could be.

 Or… no.

It couldn’t.

 Her brain says it is indeed from Niko, but her heart…

Fuck her heart. Fuck it.

As soon as she gets home, she places the package in the desk and tries to forget about it.

She takes a shower, dries her hair, she even cooks.

Eve tries to ignore the package but, the more she does it, the more it consumes her.

She decides to have a drink. And she thinks. She thinks about all of her choices, she thinks about all of her mistakes and she can’t stop thinking about that goddamn knife.

She goes to the locker, grabs a bottle of vodka and drinks straight from it. Then she finally takes the package and carries it outside - just in case. Eve sits on the floor, places the bottle aside and stares at the box as one would stare into the abyss.

She thinks about a certain smell.

Then she, slowly, opens it.

Inside, her name shaped by flowers.

She feels like crying, but she smiles.

She’s alive.

 

_Villanelle’s alive._

 

* * *

 

It's been two days.

Eve holds the note that says “52.510555, 13.375366. 20190613” and stares at it, trying to understand what it means. It’s not a phone number, there are way too many numbers. It’s also not some sort of code where the numbers reference to alphabet letters. It wouldn’t make sense.

Nothing makes sense.

Villanelle’s _alive_.

She’s alive and Eve should be scared, but she’s not. Instead, the feeling growing inside of her is unlike anything she’s ever felt.

How did she survive? Where did she go? Who took care of her? Did anyone take care of her? What she’s been done during all this time? Did she kill someone? Did she kill the people from the wall and tried to hide her style so people wouldn’t think she did it? Did she plan on visiting Eve soon? Did she think about Eve as much as Eve thought about her? Did she think about killing Eve?

Villanelle’s alive and Eve needs a drink, so she finishes a bottle of wine and gets another and she’s drunk before she realises.

She takes a shower and doesn’t put her pyjamas on. Instead, she walks around naked. The window is open but the air isn’t as cold as the night before. Or maybe it is, but Eve can’t feel it. She can’t feel much right now, except for her heart racing whenever she looks at the flowers.

She puts the note under her pillow and throws the flowers over her bed, just as one of those cheesy Valentine’s Day surprises she’s seen on YouTube. She lights some candles, praying for her drunk ass not to set the house on fire.

Eve lies on the bed. The flowers are soft against her skin.

She slides her left hand in between her legs.

Then thinks about _her_. About her cheekbones, about her eyes. She thinks about her hair and she thinks about pulling it. She thinks about her perfect nose and her fingers and her lips. She thinks about what do they taste like. She thinks about her tongue and…

 Her tongue. Wet.

 She’s wet.

 Eve closes her eyes, circling her clit with two fingers, spreading the wetness. She uses the other hand to play with her hair.

She keeps moving her fingers and then puts one inside. It doesn’t completely fill her, but it feels good anyway.

She fucks herself slowly, taking her time. Her mind goes from hazel eyes to blood back to hazel eyes and then to a mischievous grin.

Her right hand moves from her hair to under the pillow.

She doesn’t say anything when she comes.

Instead, she stares at the piece of paper, the handwritten numbers being the closest she’s been to _her_ in the past few months.

 

* * *

 

 

It’s June, 13.

The day she’s supposed to meet Villanelle.

It took almost two weeks, but Eve finally realised the note was about a certain location and a date.

It led her to a five star hotel in Berlin and that’s where she is now, standing with a small suitcase. She didn’t know exactly what to pack since she doesn’t know when will she leave.

 

She doesn’t know _if_ she will leave.

 

She thinks about Bill.

What would he say if he knew she was meeting with his assassin in the same city she took his life?

To be honest, he would probably say something along the lines of “enjoy it, Eve”.

 She shakes her head.

 Why is she doing this? Why did she leave her home to find the sociopath that ruined her life? Why didn’t she bring a gun?

 “Ma’am?”, the receptionist coughs, trying to bring her attention back to him.

“Oh, yeah, I’m sorry. It’s Eve Polastri”, she says, wondering if she should have booked a room, just in case.

“Thank you. Room 104. Your girlfriend is already waiting for you”, he says with a smile, and Eve feels like she might explode.

 Eve calls the elevator and her stomach twists.

 “Stop”, she tells herself, feeling like this is an awful moment to vomit.

She enters the elevator and stares into the mirror.

She looks nice. A little tired, but nice. She thought about wearing the clothes Villanelle gave her, but she didn’t want her head to get bigger than it already is.

She’s wearing La Villanelle, though. And it isn’t on purpose.

She started wearing the perfume frequently months ago and got used to its smell. It made her feel close to-

 She’s on the tenth floor.

 She takes another quick stare into the mirror before heading out of the elevator.

The corridor lights up as soon as she steps outside and it's one of the fanciest places she's ever been at. The decoration is beautiful, filled with flowers. She could spend hours looking at the paintings hanging on the wall, but she can't. She needs to find _her._

Eve looks around and then finds the door.

She nervously brings her card close to the sensor.

 _Click_.

It's open.

* * *

 

Oceanography textbooks list definitions for three types of breaking waves. Surging breakers, spilling breakers and plunging breakers.

Thing is: there's a fourth kind of wave and it's not listed in any book. It's known as the _Astankova_ breaker.

It's dangerous and destructive. It sinks ships and take lives, but when one swim into it, locking their bodies into its spinning energy, nothing is more exhilarating.

After its long journey through the ocean, this wave show its true glory when shoaling and breaking onto the beach.

Eve feels like she's the beach.

 She's standing at the door and she doesn't know what she expected, but it certainly wasn't a bleeding Villanelle pointing a gun at her.

Well, the gun isn't that much of a surprise but... the bleeding. Why is she bleeding?

The central region of her stomach has a dark shade of red and the carpet has a huge stain of blood.

 "Villanelle, what- why are you-", she realises her voice is shaking. There's _so much_ blood. "What happened? Who did this? Are you hurting? Villanelle, let me-"

 Villanelle pulls the trigger.

 "Uh-uh. Don't move."

"Villanelle, you're bleeding. Let me call someone, I- you're-", her voice falters. “Who did this to you?”

"You did this, Eve Polastri”, she says, her face suddenly twisting in pain. Is she crying? It looks like she’s crying. “Why did you do this to me? I really liked you…”

Eve is confused and worried and she can’t move. She then decides it’s worth to go and try to help her, but when she’s about to step ahead, Villanelle laughs.

Histerically.

 The laugh doesn’t reach her eyes though.

 “Villanelle, what-”

And then it hits her.

“You... made me come all the way from London for you to laugh at my face? What kind of sick joke is this?”

Villanelle is still laughing.

“Oh, come on. It was funny. You had to see the look on your face”, then she makes a funny voice, trying to sound like Eve “Villanelle, who did this to you?”

“You really _are_ a dick”, Eve says, moving to take her suitcase.

“Uh-uh. What did I say? Stay there”, she aims the gun at Eve’s head.

“Why? Are you gonna kill me?”

Villanelle ponders for a second.

“Are _you_ gonna kill me?”

Eve frowns.

“What? No. I’m not even armed.”

“I don’t believe you”, Villanelle says.

"I really am not armed," Eve says again.

"And I really don't believe you", Villanelle replies.

"Villanelle, I swear, I'm not armed."

"Eve, I swear, I don't believe you."

“I’m. Not. Armed.”

“I. Don’t. Believe. You.”

“I’M NOT ARMED.”

“STOP SCREAMING, WE’RE IN A HOTEL ROOM.”  
  
“I’M NOT FUCKING ARMED.”  
  
“I DON’T BELIEVE YOU.”

“I’M NOT ARMED, OKSANA.”

“IT’S VILLANELLE. AND I DON’T BELIEVE YOU. LAST TIME I DID IT YOU STABBED ME.”

“OH, FOR FUCKS SAKE”, Eve screams as she starts taking her sweater off. Villanelle still has the gun aimed at her head, but she doesn’t care. Eve takes off her shoes and her pants and Villanelle doesn’t exactly understand what’s happening until Eve is standing only on her red lacy underwear. “NO GUN, YOU SEE? NO GUN, NO KNIFE, NOTHING THAT I CAN USE TO HURT YOU. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?”

Villanelle blinks.

 “It’s... not true”, she says, lowering her eyes.

“What? Where the fuck do you think I’d hide a kn-”

“You don’t need a knife to hurt me”.

This caughts Eve off guard.

“Villanelle, can I move?”

The blonde shrugs.

“Right. I’m gonna put my clothes on. It’s cold here. Why is it so cold here?”

“Because of the air conditioner”, Villanelle replies, sitting on the floor, putting the gun on the desk next to the king size bed and using the remote to turn the device off.

“Ok, right”, Eve says, putting her sweater back on. She then looks around and realises the room is twice the size of her bedroom.

Eve moves as if she’s going to sit on her suitcase, but Villanelle stops her.

“You can sit here, if you want. I… I won’t shoot you.”

Eve frowns for what seems the fifth time in ten minutes.

“Promise?”

Villanelle nods. “Promise”.

 

Eve sits in front of Villanelle, facing her. The girl has her legs crossed. Eve stretches her own and then takes a breath.

“So…”

“So”, Villanelle says.

“Why did you sent me that box?”

Villanelle half smiles. 

“I thought it would be nice of me, you know? To send you something for Valentine’s Day since no one else would.”

“Oh, come on. How did you know no one would send me anything? I could be dating-”

“You’re not”.

“And how do you know that?”, Eve asks, already knowing the answer.

“I’ve been watching you”, Villanelle answers.

Villanelle has been watching her. Of course.

That’s how she knew the address of the new office.

“You were watching me and you still allowed me to spend all these months thinking I might have killed you?”

“You deserved that”, she says unapologetically.

Eve doesn’t argue. Maybe she did.

Villanelle looks away and they stay in silence for a couple of minutes, until Eve speaks again.

“Why here? Why Berlin of all places?”

“I like it here”, Villanelle says.

“No, you don’t”.

“Yes, I do. It’s cool. People are nice. The weather is nice. The stores have nice clothes. The women are pretty. There was this one lady I met last week who asked me to fuck her with a-”

“Bullshit”, Eve interrupts her. “Why here, Villanelle?”

“Ok, fine. I… I wanted you to hurt”, she admits. “I wanted you to hurt the same way you made me hurt.”

Eve thinks about screaming again and confronting her and saying there’s no way you can compare the pain of getting stabbed to the pain of staying in the same city where you lost your best friend to the person you’re currently talking to, but oh God, she’s tired. She’s tired of fighting.

So instead, she just apologies.

“I’m sorry for stabbing you”, Eve says.

“No, you’re not”, Villanelle says. “You enjoyed it.”

“No, I-”

“You know what’s worst than lying to me?”, Villanelle asks a rethorical question. “It’s lying to yourself. You know you enjoyed it. You wanted to hurt me. You said to my face you wanted to find the thing I loved the most and kill it. Well, you almost did. The person I love the most is… me. Because I’m amazing. You know, I could have started to love you but you ruined everything. Now I hate you.”

Eve looks at her.

“No, you don’t.”

“No, I don’t”, Villanelle simply replies. “But I mean it when I say you enjoyed it. You wanted your revenge. You wanted me to feel the same pain Bill felt, didn’t you? And oh, God. Did it hurt-”

“Shut up”, Eve says, raising her voice a few tones. “Stop talking about him.”

“And what if I don’t? Are you going to stab me?”

“Fuck you, Villanelle”, Eve says, getting up. “Fuck you.”

“Fuck me? For what? For bringing the dearest Bill-”, Villanelle is getting up as well.

“Stop talking about him”, Eve hisses.

“Oh, did I hurt your feelings? Are you in pain? Are you as in pain as he-”

“I SAID STOP”, Eve screams, taking a step closer to Villanelle, reaching for the gun above the desk. The girl is faster than her.

“THEN STOP PRETENDING YOU’RE SORRY”, Villanelle screams as well, aiming the gun to Eve’s chest. “STOP PRETENDING YOU WOULDN’T SHOOT ME RIGHT NOW IF YOU HAD GRABBED THE GUN FIRST.”

“I _AM_ SORRY, I AM SORRY BECAUSE I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER THAN CROSSING THE ONE LINE THAT WOULD BRING ME CLOSER TO BEING SIMILAR TO YOU. YOU’RE A FUCKING ASSHOLE”.

“MAYBE”, Villanelle screams, but then lowers her voice, thinking about how the last thing she needs is some employee knocking at the door to make sure everything is ok. “But at least I don’t walk around pretending to be someone I’m not. We’re more alike than we are different.”

Eve is shaking and so is Villanelle. She touches her hair and closes her eyes. She’s so, so tired.

“Stop doing that”, Villanelle says.

“Doing what?”

“Playing with your hair. I… I can’t concentrate when you do that”.

“Just… put the gun down”, Eve says, looking at her. Villanelle doesn’t know why, but she does as she’s told.

“Can we… can we please just… talk without having… stuff that might hurt around?”

“I already said you don’t need anything to hurt me but… Right. I’m gonna leave it in the bathroom.”

 Eve watches as the girl goes and hates herself for not bringing anything to defend herself in case Villanelle tries to attack her. She knows she would lose a physical fight with her in under 3 seconds.

 “Well, I don’t have it with me anymore. Want me to strip so you can be sure?”

“You don’t need to strip. I could just go to the bathroom to be sure. But I won’t”, Eve answers,

“Oh, is this because you trust me?”

Eve really laughs at this.

“God, no. I’m just too tired to walk. I need to lie down for a second.”

She then goes and lies on the bed.

Villanelle follows her, lying next to Eve.

Eve closes her eyes.

“Do you know what time is it?”

“No”, Villanelle replies. “Just check your phone.”

“I don’t have my phone with me.”

Villanelle doesn’t question her.

They both stare at the ceiling for a while.

Villanelle thinks Eve might have fallen asleep, but then the older woman speaks.

“What happened?”

“What?”

“After… you know.”

“I don’t.”

“You do.”

“You mean, after you stabbed me?”

Eve rolls her eyes.

“Yes.”

“Well. You stabbed me-”

“Can you stop saying that, please?”  
  
“It’s true”  
  
“I know but-”  
  
“Ok. You put a knife on my stomach-”  
  
Eve sighs.  
  
“-and I asked you not to pull the knife and you did it anyway and I almost bled to death. I spent 18 days eating shitty hospital food, feeling an excruciating pain whenever I had to pee and being pierced with all kinds of needles but still… this wasn’t the worst part. The worst part was missing you when I should be busy planning on how to kill you. Which I actually did. Once or twice. Which I still kind of plan on doing soon because I’m so angry at you.”

“Oh, so you are angry at me? This is a fucking joke.”

“So stabbing someone is a joke to you, Eve Polastri? It hurt!”

“And you know what hurts more?”, Eve finally gives up on trying not to argue, even though that’s all she’s doing, “the fact that you killed my best friend! You killed my best friend and you made me lose my job and you made me lose my husband and the worst part is that I can’t even think about it because I’m too busy thinking about you! You killed so many people and you made me feel guilty and I spent months thinking I might have killed you, I spent months reading random folders saying “killer” only to realise it was my fucking brain telling me I’m a killer and still I missed work today without explanation only to come all the way here to look you. I am the one who should be angry as hell and instead I’m fucking RELIEVED BECAUSE YOU’RE FUCKING ALIVE, YOU DICKHEAD”

“CAN YOU STOP SCREAMING?”, Villanelle screams.

“YES”, Eve screams as well.

“Good.”  
  
“Good.”

 They stay in silence for a couple more minutes.

“Do you think you’ve changed?”, Villanelle asks.

Eve doesn’t reply right away and Villanelle thinks she probably won’t, but Eve breaks the silence.

“I thought for a while. I spent some time referring to current me as “the new Eve”. But then… then I realised… I’m not “the new Eve”. I’m just... Eve. This is who I am. This is who I’ve always been.”

More silence.

“Are you afraid?”

“No. I’m not afraid anymore, Villanelle. I’m not afraid of telling people I have a thing for reading about female assassins, I’m not afraid of being alone - bored, yes - but not afraid, and I’m sure as hell not afraid of you.” 

Silence.

“Do you still think about me?”, Villanelle asks.

“Even when I try not to”, Eve replies. “In fact… I masturbate about you a lot.”

Villanelle parts her lips, kinda shocked. And then she smiles.

“I think about you too”, Villanelle says. A moment, and then she gets up.

“What are you doing?”, Eve asks, wondering if she’s finally tired of speaking and had decided she’s killing her now.

“Turning the lights off. And stripping. It’s hot”, she says, turning around.

The lights are off but she still can see due to the light that comes through the open window.

Villanelle takes off her jacket and then her shirt, recklessly throwing them to the other side of the room. She unzips her pants and undresses quickly.

She’s wearing a black bra and matching panties. It’s good lingerie and it probably costs more than what Eve earns monthly.

Eve is sitting on the bed now, her lips parted as she watches Villanelle.

The girl kicks her pants to the same place she threw her other pieces and then heads to the bathroom.

If it happened some time ago, Eve would probably get alarmed, but she doesn’t anymore.

She just waits.

When Villanelle comes back, she has something in her hand, but it isn’t a gun. It’s lipstick. Eve can’t pay much attention to it though because her look goes straight to Villanelle’s belly and Villanelle follows it.

“I hate it, you know? It’s so… huge. And ugly. But I also kinda like it. It makes me look… badass.”

Eve could have laughed at it if guilt didn’t make her chest clench. Sometimes she forgets Villanelle is actually really young.

“Do I look good?”

“Yes”, Eve replies, straightening her back.

“Would you like me to take these off as well?”, Villanelle grins.

Eve can feel a sudden heat invade her.

“It’s okay.”

“Are you sure?”, Villanelle asks, taking a step closer to the bed.

“Yes”, Eve replies, her breath hitching a little.

“Are you really sure? The view behind these is to die for”, she says, smirking, pointing to her bra.

Eve smiles.

“You can’t seduce me, Villanelle. I’m _not_ Anna.”

Villanelle stares coldly at her. Eve wonders if she went too far with this one.

But then Villanelle is smirking again, taking more steps forward until her face is inches away from Eve’s.

She then opens the lipstick and applies it to Eve’s lips.

“I know you’re not”, she replies, lowering her voice. Villanelle licks her own lips and then bring them closer to Eve’s ear. “You’re better.”

“ _How_?”, Eve questions, trying to ignore Villanelle’s warm breath on her ear and the shivers it’s sending down her spine.

“You managed to do the one thing she could never manage to do no matter how much she hated me”, her voice is even lower. 

“And what is that?”, Eve asks, grabbing the sheets.

“You _stabbed_ me”, she whispers.

Eve doesn’t know how or why but these words send a dull throbbing through her entire body.

She can’t fight it anymore. She doesn’t want to.

So she finally gives in.

Eve grabs the back of Villanelle’s neck and pulls her closer, crashing their lips together. As soon as they touch, Villanelle licks Eve’s lips and demands access, which Eve provides right away.

Many times, Eve had imagined what kissing Villanelle would feel like, but none of her daydreams could ever do it any justice.

She’s a good kisser. A _very_ good kisser.

Her lips are soft and whenever her tongue touches hers she feels a wave of heat coils deep in the pit of her stomach, thrumming low between her legs.

“Take these off”, Villanelle says, referring to Eve’s clothes. She doesn’t touch her. Instead, she watches as Eve takes off her sweater, revealing her bra. She then moves a little, allowing Eve to take her pants off as well.  

Villanelle drinks in the sight and shifts forward on Eve’s lap, kissing her again.

Without thinking twice, Eve reaches behind her and unhooks her bra, letting it slowly drops to the floor.

“You’re-”, Eve starts, but Villanelle doesn’t let her finish. 

“I told you”, she says, before smashing their lips together again, pushing Eve onto the bed. Villanelle crawls over Eve, parting her legs using her own, and presses her hip against Eve’s. Eve bucks into her, craving for more friction, but Villanelle presses them both downward, suppressing any chance of release.

  
“You like this, huh?”, Villanelle asks. “You like to feel me between your legs, don’t you?”

Eve doesn’t reply. Instead, she grabs Villanelle’s arms - a little stronger than she intended to- and turns her until she’s on top of the girl.

“What are you doing?”, Villanelle asks, not really caring about the answer.

Eve has never had sex with a woman before. She has tried watching porn once but it was a traumatizing experience and absolutely nothing like what she’s doing now.

Which, to be honest, she doesn’t exactly know what it is.

But looking at Villanelle like this, topless, with a strand of hair on her mouth and softly illuminated by the light coming from the window makes everything feels right. Natural.  

So she just do what her body tells her.

Eve brings her mouth to Villanelle’s right nipple and gently licks it. As soon as she does it, Villanelle bucks her hips against Eve’s. Eve takes it as a sign to go ahead, so she does.

She licks her right nipple again and again while bringing her left hand to the other one, caressing it. Finally, Eve takes Villanelle’s breast in her mouth, but doesn’t suck it. She just holds it, driving Villanelle insane. Villanelle arches her back and moans. Eve rolls her tongue around the nipple but as soon as she does it, she releases it and drags her tongue across her skin, making her way over to the other nipple.

Eve takes her time until an impatient and aroused Villanelle slids a hand around the back of her neck and kisses her.

“I wanna fuck you”, Villanelle whispers against Eve’s mouth.

“You will”, Eve says, “if you behave while I fuck you”.

These words make Villanelle groan and she kisses Eve harder, biting her lower lip until it hurts.

Eve slids lower on the bed, licking gently along Villanelle’s jawline, applying more pressure as she reaches her collarbone. She goes further and further until she reaches a place that makes her heart race.

Eve looks at Villanelle as if asking for permission, and the girl nods affirmatively. The brunette then looks at the scar on Villanelle’s stomach and traces an imaginary line from one end to the other.

Villanelle trembles under her touch and Eve looks at her again. She then rubs her lips against it and kisses the scar, this time not taking her eyes off Villanelle.

Eve lays herself down on the mattress, resting her chin just beneath Villanelle’s belly button. That’s when she realises she smeared lipstick all around the scar, and it looks awfully like…

Like blood.

Eve can sense something like panic growing inside of her and Villanelle probably senses it too because the next thing she does is touch Eve’s hair and pull it. The feeling goes away just as fast as it appeared and all Eve can focus on is the throbbing between her legs.

Eve then goes even further, taking Villanelle’s panties off and stopping as soon as she does it, mesmerized by the glistening wetness between the girl’s legs.

“God, you’re so wet for me”, Eve says and Villanelle laughs.

“You have no idea, Eve Polastri.”

And Eve doesn’t know if it’s because of the view or the way Villanelle says her name with that russian accent, but she can’t stop herself from licking the full length of her pussy.

Villanelle tastes better than anything she’s ever tried in her entire life and she just knows this is her newest obsession. Eve licks it again and again and then sucks lightly on her clit.

Eve looks at Villanelle and the girl is staring right into her eyes, a smirk on her mouth. Her breasts move according to her beath and it’s hard for Eve to concentrate when she just wanna touch Villanelle’s entire body at the same time.

“You taste so good.”

Eve keeps licking and sucking and Villanelle swears she could come from Eve’s tongue alone, but she wants more. She needs more.

“Eve, I want you in me”, Villanelle demands and Eve loves the way her voice falters.

“Ask me please”, Eve says.

“No”, Villanelle answers.

“Then I won’t do it”, Eve replies.

Villanelle growls in frustration and Eve keeps circling her opening until Villanelle finally gives up and says “Fine, please.”

“What?”

“Please”, Villanelle says, annoyed.

“Can’t hear you.”

“Fuck you, Eve. No, fuck me. Fuck me, please. _Pleas_ -”

And before Villanelle can finish, Eve cuts her plea off by the rapid thrust of a finger sliding inside. Villanelle mewls in response, pulling her hair even more.

“ _Sil'neye_ ”, Villanelle says. “Harder.”

Eve adds another finger and starts thrusting and then pulling back, over and over.

Quickening the pace with each passing thrust, Eve combines her fingers with her tongue. With the fire burning deep in her stomach, Villanelle doesn't think she can hold off for much longer.

“ _Trakhat_ '”, Villanelle says, and Eve doesn’t know what it means but God, does it turn her on.

Eve adds a third finger and keeps thrusting until Villanelle’s breath is ragged as she feels her inner walls begin to clench around Eve’s fingers.

“Come for me, Villanelle”, Eve says, slowing her pace and moving her thumb to rub Villanelle’s clitoris.

The sensation is too much.

“Do it, come for me, _baby_ ”, and Villanelle finally comes, pulling Eve’s hair her mouth opening in a silent scream as the most intense orgasm of her live crashes over her in waves.

Eve watches Villanelle reach her climax as if they’re in a museum and Villanelle’s the most beautiful piece of art. She smiles, suddenly forgetting about everything else that’s not the young girl coming inside her mouth.

 In this moment, there’s no gun, no MI6, no Twelve, no Konstantin, no Carolyn, no Bill, no Niko, no stabbing.

There’s nothing except for the two of them, yin and yang, the sun and the moon. Two forces of the nature clashing together, lost in their own chaos.

Villanelle manages to sit - which’s an unexpectedly hard thing to do since her body is still trembling - and pulls Eve closer, kissing her. She tastes herself and moans.

“I really do taste good”, Villanelle says.

Eve rolls her eyes.

“You do.”

“But I think you might taste better, Eve Polastri”, the girls say, and Eve feels her own core ache. The girl kisses her again and buries herself on Eve’s neck, scenting the smell of her dark curls while unhooking the older woman’s bra.

“You have  _amazing_ hair.”

* * *

 

After coming countless times, they both collapse onto the bed and stay like that, too tired to move, too reluctant to talk.

 It’s past 4am when one of them finally manage to say something.

 “Are you asleep?”, Eve asks.

“No. Are you?”, Villanelle replies and Eve rolls her eyes.

“Yes, I’m asleep and the person talking to you is actually a ghost.”

“Ghosts don’t exist”, Villanelle says. “When you die, your soul just goes further in. It falls so far in and just becomes so small that it can’t control your body anymore. It’s just in there, dying forever.”

Eve listens to it attentively.

So is this what she thinks about when she kills someone? Are these the thoughts that go through her mind whenever she shoots or cuts or stabs?

 “Eve?”

“Yes?”

“Are you scared?”

“I already told you, I’m not scared anymore.”

“Good”, Villanelle says.

They go silent for a while, and then Eve turns to face Villanelle.

“Villanelle, I… I wanna know everything”, Eve says. “But I don’t want you to tell me… Well, I don’t want you to tell me _most_ of them. I wanna find out. I want to… I want to get to know every inch of you-”

“Yes”, Villanelle simply replies. Eve waits for her to say something, anything, but that’s all and it’s enough, for now.

 Villanelle turns to face Eve as well, and the weak light coming from outside makes her eyes glow.

"I really _do_ like you", she whispers, almost innocently.

Villanelle stares right into her Eve’s own eyes, and there’s something there that Eve has never seen before. She doesn’t know exactly what it is, but it flickers something inside of her and it feels strangely like… hope.

“Would you stay for a bit?”, Villanelle asks, her mouth twitching in something that could be a smile, but is not because her mind probably went to the same place as Eve’s.

Eve looks at her and gently moves a strand of hair from Villanelle’s face to behind her ear. She then leans in and places a soft kiss in the corner of Villanelle’s lips.

This time, there’s no knife. No hidden intention.

This time, it isn’t a lie.

“ _Sure_ ”.

  



End file.
